ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
