How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
