A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish you could order shots online.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
third nipple confirmed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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