Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize