your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
