dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
