dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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