I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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