Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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