she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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