I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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