ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Every concussion has its silver lining
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
