Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
