I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
