Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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