Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did i walk over a car last night?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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