Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
