THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
