...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
