my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
