She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
