his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
