i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
