but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
