Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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