this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
