You work out of a Hotel?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
