Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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