just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
