i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
