Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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