OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
