I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
try to milk me bitch
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