Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
