Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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