I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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