This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
