I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
These tits shall not be calmed
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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