i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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