she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
