used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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