Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
