hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
