He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
