the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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