That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
