I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I've blown a few things in my day
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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