I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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