its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
