Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
