Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
