Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
